OUR TEENAGE MINDSET

Nothing brings down the atmosphere of your household any quicker than a teenager whose attitude has gone bad.  

At some point, every teenager drives every parent crazy over a bad attitude.  The symptoms include (but aren�t limited to) the classic eye-roll, the angry outburst, the sarcastic retort, the very loud and long sigh, the cold shoulder, the hot temper, or the look your child gives you that declares, I think everything you�re saying right now is totally ridiculous.

Some teens grow into their brash behaviors and wear them like a badge of honor.  One minute a sweet and caring child, the next an angry and arrogant teenager.  You are never quite sure which teen is going to show up.

Over the years, we have organized programs for teenagers and work with them as well.  We have definitely witnessed all the physical and verbal manifestations of a bad attitude.  While each child is unique, you can generally categorize the teenage mindset in one of four ways.  Recognizing which attitude our teen exhibits will help us address the behavior and find a peaceable resolution in our homes.

Anxiety

You may notice that there seem to be more anxious adolescents than ever.  Our society is silently producing more and more young people who are stressed, stretched, and strained.  They feel the concerns and pressures of parents, peers, or culture (and maybe a mixture of all three) and gain an attitude of self-doubt and apprehension.  This is the child that develops social qualms, has levels of obsessive-compulsive disorder and lives in a state of fear about all the terrible things that could happen to them.  When you interact with them, they put off an air of restlessness and trouble. Try laughing, tell a story, watch TV.  Give your worried child an opportunity to breathe and escape the world that overwhelms them.  Assure your son or daughter that it�s okay to drop the tension once in awhile to relax and have fun.

Angst

The child with angst demonstrates a constant dread�a fear of life and the world.  He hates going to school, is afraid of social events, or angry about the state of the world.  This outlook on life is common among kids who look around at the state of our culture�famine, war, disease, murder, inequality, So they develop an attitude of anguish and try to block out the world.  Even with their best efforts to remain shielded, they can�t help but express sorrow, worry and fear that spills over into other people�s lives.

For the child with angst, dad or mom, you have to put it all into perspective.  Show your teen that this world has good things to offer, as well. Show your troubled son or daughter that life has more joy and happiness that what he or she can see at the moment.

Arrogance

The arrogant attitude is the one that can really get under your skin.  If you�re living with a child in need of daily attitude adjustments, you are not alone!  It is difficult (and even maddening at times), but with God�s grace you can get through it.  The most important thing to teach your teenager is that they can choose their attitude.  They don�t have to be controlled by their emotions.  They have the power to think correctly and adjust their attitude.

Anger

If you have a teenager with an angry attitude, you�re in good company!  At some point, every parent experiences the wrath of an angry child.  For a teenager, rage can be processed in a variety of ways.  I�ve seen irate kids punch holes in the drywall or bang their heads onto the floor in fury.  But I�ve also seen teenagers turn that anger inward, and become depressed, isolated and lonely.

I also have discovered that all anger is an emotional response to an unmet need.  This need could be something important like wanting praise or acceptance, or it could be something trivial like not having a new phone or being grounded.  It�s important to realize that anger is not necessarily a bad thing.  Everybody gets fired up from time to time.  But an angry attitude should not be excused or ignored.  If you encounter a fiery flare up with your child, don�t match their temper with your own.  Instead, say something like � You�re coming off like you�re very angry.  Do you need some time to cool down?

Culled from: www.heartlightministries.org, 
Edited by: TGF Media works.